


Blue Balls, Squishy Butts

by livingoffcourage



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Butts, Derek just really likes Stiles' butt, Established Relationship, Flirting, Fluff, Heathers the musical, M/M, sterek being cute, ugly dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:26:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1912689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingoffcourage/pseuds/livingoffcourage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was endearing. </p>
<p>In the ugliest, most awkward, extremely uncomfortable-to-watch type of way.</p>
<p>or </p>
<p>Stiles likes showtunes, Derek just really likes Stiles' butt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Balls, Squishy Butts

**Author's Note:**

> A little bit of fluff for you all! I still haven't really advanced past writing little one shots and things, but I hope you enjoy this regardless! I got the idea after listening to the Heathers the Musical soundtrack at 2am and wishing someone loved my butt as much as Derek must love Stiles'.
> 
> ps: Thank you for the positive feedback on my last story! Porn is tricky to write, but I'm glad a few of you liked it! 
> 
> And I totally recommend listening to "Blue" from Heathers! It's what inspired this and it's just overall hilarious.

It was endearing. 

In the ugliest, most awkward, extremely uncomfortable-to-watch type of way.

He had on an apron that had “Shiitake Happens” printed on the front with a pale mushroom doodled under it. He was growing out his hair, which Erica had taken full advantage of and decided that he would look good with some of her daughter’s bows clipped into the little swoop in the front. The cherry on top, however, was the fact that he had some horrible song that seemed to be about blue-balls blasting from their tiny kitchen ihome that Stiles had plugged his phone into. And he was dancing along to it. 

Not just a little jig, like he did with every song while cooking. Oh no. He was going into a full on dance number. 

Derek reached for his phone, chuckling under his breath, fully prepared to record every second and send it out to each member of the Pack. And their extended family. And to the Sheriff to send out to the officers at the station. And to Danny so he could put it online.

Derek had to take full advantage. 

He was just about to hit record when Stiles started wailing. He would say singing, but it was nothing close to that. He loved Stiles, he really did. But what he was doing right now could only be described as wailing.

“WHATEVER YOU REQUIRE THEY’LL DO, SO TAKE EM’ HOME TO MEET YOUR PARENTS! THEY’LL WEAR A SUIT AND TIE, AND A FANCY COLLAR. THEY’LL SING A LULLABY, LA LA LA LA LA!”

He died. In that moment he full on doubled over gasping for breath because he was laughing so hard. Stiles looked over with wide eyes just in time to see Derek hit the floor with a loud thud. 

“What are you made of?” Stiles laughed as he watched Derek roll back and forth, clutching his sides, his chest heaving from how hard he was laughing. 

He turned off the stove, turned up the radio, and hopped over to where Derek was laying in the doorway and climbed on tip of him. 

He shoved his hands into Derek’s back pockets and Derek’s hands grabbed him around the waist. The smile on his face made Stiles’ heart melt. So obviously, he had to make it last. 

“BEFRIEND YOU, LIKE WINNIE THE POOH! BABY, BABY, BABY THEY’RE SO BLUE! MY BALLS WILL WORK FOR YOU. THEY WILL OBEY YA!” 

He leaned down getting right up in Derek’s adorably flushed face. He kissed the little stubble Derek decided to leave this morning, and stuck his face into his neck, continuing on with the song.

“THEY REALLY NEED RESCUE, LIKE PRINCESS LEIA. BABY YOU GOTS TO COME THROUGH, TEACH THEM TO SMILE!” 

“Ok! Ok! I get it!” Derek kept laughing, holding Stiles even tighter to him. “You’re a horny little showtune pervert!” 

Stiles let out a ridiculous sigh, burying his face deeper into Derek’s neck. “You get me.”

Derek’s hands moved down to his butt and gave it a good squeeze as the song trailed off, leading into an old Adele one he didn’t give a shit about with Derek’s hands where they were.

Stiles lifted his head up, smiling down at him and giving him a quick kiss. “You put up with my pervy showtunes, you get to touch the butt. I thought we made that clear.” 

“Oh, I don’t know. I think we need to elaborate on my end of the deal.” Derek squeezed his butt again. “Is there a limit to how long I’m allowed to touch the butt for?”

“Mmm....no. I’m gonna go with no.” 

“Good,” he said, squeezing once more before giving it a little pat and letting it go completely. 

“What was the point of me giving you full time butt availability if you’re not even going to take advantage?” Stiles rolled his eyes as Derek reached up to start pulling the clips from his hair. “I don’t know who you should be more scared of right now. Erica...or Darcy. They worked really hard on that updo.” 

“They’ll live, and so will your butt. These are just annoying me. You’re rubbing them into my ear.” 

Stiles lifted his head fully from Derek’s neck and rested his chin on top of his chest, pouting at him. “My butt misses you.” 

“If you start singing that song again, I swear to god, I’m moving out right now and your butt will never be touched by me again.” Derek looked so focused on working the clips from his hair and Stiles couldn’t even pretend to be offended by his accusation. He just smiled and watched as Derek put them all in a little pile next to them, and smiled even wider when he saw him counting and making sure all of them were there. 

When Derek was done, he ran his hands back down Stiles’ back and got a firm hold on his butt again. Stiles wiggled against him, pulling his arms from Derek’s pockets and curling them around his arms. “It was a song about balls, fyi.” He snuggled against Derek and closed his eyes.

“Whatever.” Derek started alternating which cheek he squished, bouncing Stiles’ butt from side to side. “I get to touch your butt.” 

They layed there for who knows how long, Derek playing with his butt while Stiles absorbed his body heat, until Derek finally spoke up. 

“Please never sing that song again. It really was terrible.” 

“Shut up, you know you loved it.”


End file.
